Not having a yard to bury your money in is marbles

Over the years I've complained about various aspects of apartment living, but as the market continues to tank I'm becoming convinced that the worst aspect of apartment life is not having a yard of my own in which I can safely bury my money. As it stands, I'm forced to choose between hiding my money under my mattress (and finding another place to hide my pornography) and hiding it in several hundred of those fake shaving cream cans (and finding another place to hide several hundred cans worth of shaving cream). There's just no good solution. The subprime housing market is down, but what about the subprime yard market? That's all I need, really.