The enormous ratio of Sonic commercials to Sonic restaurants is marbles

Sonic is the Sasquatch of fast food. Much discussed, but rarely seen. Everywhere I've lived, there have been Sonic commercials on TV, but nowhere I've lived has there actually been a real, physical, honest-to-goodness Sonic. Why does Sonic advertise nationwide, incessantly, when nationwide there appears to be at most only five or six actual Sonics? In my travels I've been lucky enough to glimpse three Sonics, but, like the Sasquatch, I could never prove it, and neither could others who reported seeing more in the remote corners of some of our less populous states.


For years, I told stories of a Sonic lying deep in Ohio's Hocking Hills State Forest, in the sleepy town of Nelsonville. Lacking proof, however, the creature remained mere folklore. But, this past weekend, I was finallly able to catch it on film (see above). This should once and for all silence the skeptics. Sonic is real.